Holly the grumpus…

haiku for today:

resonant gristle

menace, chewing my complaints

heated leftovers

~ ~ ~

Thankful that tomorrow dawns a new day…


One of the best decisions I ever made…

haiku for February 3, 2012:

quiet, gentle awe

a simple flower opens

all the world listens

~ ~ ~

This post has been composing itself for weeks now…

in smiles,

in stretches,

in walks,

in those dozing off to sleep moments,

in those wake up with a start in the middle of the night moments,

in those sleepy “just look at the sunshine streaming through the window” wake-up-in-the-morning moments,

and most definitely through the long (long!) workday hours of my life these past several weeks.

~ ~ ~

This post is a tribute to a woman I’ve never (yet) met face-to-face.

This post is a tribute to the magic of Skype, the magic of the Internet, the magic of technology, the magic of PLNs (personal learning networks / professional learning networks) and SLNs (social learning networks) — without which Joanna and I would most likely never have met.

This post is a tribute (also) to the learning journey I’ve been traveling these past several years (please see this link for more info).

~ ~ ~

Several weeks ago (Dec. 15, 2011), I received news of a devastating announcement, news that EnglishCafe.com would be closing, shutting down, no more — as of Feb. 1, 2012 or sooner.

Since that time, so much has happened!

After a few frantic days of trying to ‘save’ the memories of EnglishCafe, of mentally attempting to adjust to a life without EnglishCafe (rearrange the letters of E N G L I S H C A F E and you can spell “changes life” — and indeed, EnglishCafe changed my life). EnglishCafe ‘was’ my life, or at least a very large part of it!

~ ~ ~

So, what to do?

As is my usual tendency, I ‘did’ a lot.  Notified people I knew who might know of jobs, amped up my jobhunting, followed lots more folks on Twitter, spent more time on LinkedIn, cried (wept), threw things, walked, walked, walked, talked, talked, talked, and kept logging in to EnglishCafe… which was no longer the same.

As I was recording screencasts (for my own memories) of various posts and profiles on EnglishCafe, I would repeat, a lump in my throat, the mantra that this “just can’t not be anymore” often followed by “but how, but what can I do, what can we do?”  During one of these screencasts, I voiced an idea that popped into my brain, “What about a Ning?”

When that screencast was finished, I went to Ning.com.  I had learned of Nings years ago (Thank you EVO, thank you CarlaArena) and had experimented with a few of my own Nings (back in the day when they were free).  I made the decision that I could not justify paying to keep the Nings I’d created once Ning went to a fee-based service, so had not used them much in recent months/years. But my memory and experience told me that a Ning might just, might just, might… be an answer.

~ ~ ~

A new Ning is born… December 22, 2012

Was it really only a week later?  December 22, 2012 I explored Ning, set up a free one month trial Ning, played with it a little, then a lot, read, read, read, read, read the excellent help files Ning provides. I pondered. I dreamed. I began to wonder…

And that is when I made one of the best decisions I’ve ever made (December 27, 2011).  All that I’ve learned throughout my online experiences has taught me to value collaboration, feedback, constructive criticism.  I knew/know/acknowledge that I will never please the entire population of the world, but also knew that I should not be creating this site alone.

There were complications. Because of the contract I and others had or had had with Global English/EnglishCafe, because of the uncertainties we were all experiencing as a result of the announcement of the site shutdown, because of the different directions other teachers on the site were taking, because of the high emotion a collective we were reeling from, because of many factors, there did not seem to be a likely colleague to work closely with.

But then, some angel of inspiration let me expand my thinking… why did it need to be a fellow TESOL (teacher of English to speakers of other languages) colleague?  Why couldn’t it be a colleague with expertise of online learning?

So… then… who?  It must be someone I ‘knew’ fairly well, knew instinctively I could work with (and whom would be / might be willing to work with me — not always an easy thing to do!). It needed to be someone who would be / might be willing to devote a fair number of hours.  It needed to be someone willing to ‘tell it like it is’ and ‘give it to me’.  It needed to be someone who wouldn’t just agree with me on nearly everything.  It needed to be someone with a sense of humor.

So… who?  Immediately, four names came to mind.  Two were not really considered because I knew their lives were too busy and it would be a huge burden to even consider asking them.  Of the other two, I will admit I chose “female over male.”  And so I approached Joanna.  And she said “Yes!”

And that is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

If you visit the Learn English With A Worldwide Perspective (LEWWP) site you will see evidence of our (Joanna and I) work together.

It is, of course, also the work of Ning, also the work of everyone mentioned above, and it is an ongoing work of collaborative energy.

~ ~ ~

It is my strong hope that at TESOL 2013 or another international conference, Joanna and I will be able to meet in person, perhaps with another member or two of LEWWP and share more details about our online PLN (personal/professional learning network) development journey.

~ ~ ~

slip-sliding away… and stockpiling! (oxymoronic?)

haiku for today/yesterday:

How do you feel now?

and then, and if not now, when?

mockingbird’s calling!

~ ~ ~

Maintaining all I am trying to keep balanced on a daily, weekly, at-least-somewhat-routine schedule is a huge challenge at present, and yet in so many ways I am feeling more content than I have in a very long time.

[more to come]

‘calamity’ known in advance…

haiku for today:

caw, caw, caw! scritch, scratch.

late morning frost lingers till

noon ~ numb fingertips!

~ ~ ~

For three and a half days now I’ve been carrying the heavy weight of knowledge of an impending ‘calamity’ of sorts — one that I am helpless to stop, one that will cause me grief, will mean a life-change, and which I am not open to divulging/sharing yet.  It’s a very unsettling feeling. Others are involved — others with whom I’ve been avoiding contact — also unsettling.

And where will the dust settle?

As people wish me “Happy ‘holly’-days” and we approach another new year, and I carry this heavy burden, it’s all very awkward.  I’m not accustomed to putting on false faces, do not carry a poker face very well.  So avoidance has been my game, a game with no enjoyment.

Life is full of challenges. . . may we all meet them with grace. . .

sperm donors, intentional gatherings

Today’s haiku:

Lost in the masses,

adrift in a pile of leaves.

Are you my Daddy?


Log on, register.

I must be from strong woodstock

Will I ever know?


find siblings galore?


That’s all they’ll tell me…

~ ~ ~

Today’s haiku were inspired by an NPR show I listened to yesterday evening, a show exploring issues related to children born via sperm donorship. I woke up this morning still pondering some of the points raised, the questions raised, the challenges growing.

What a world we live in!

As the Thanksgiving holiday approaches, many families are planning intentional gatherings of various sorts.

Can you imagine an intentional gathering of 70+ children — children spawned from sperm from the same donor, one singular donor — and their extended families?!  Yieeeeee!

What a world we live in. . .